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About

"I started this blog for 2 purposes. 1, to chronicle my days and experiences in Malaysia's National Service for my own future references, and at the same time, 2, to provide a personal insight into the life of a National Service trainee for whoever who would care to read."

Day 13.4: An Atheist's Conversation With My Muslim Teacher Thursday, June 26, 2008 |

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During kelas rohani/kelas kerohanian today, i went to the "pondok" beside JLB instead of getting cooped up inside the air-conditioned JLB with a bunch of teachers. Brought along with me today's newspaper i asked MakCik to help me buy from outside camp. She got me NST instead of Star because they only sell The Star in Manjung, not in Kg Baru, and PakCik didn't go to Manjung today. So much trouble just to get myself a copy of an English newspaper *sigh*

I just finished browsing the headlines and was starting to read the contents when a teacher approached me at the pondok. I'd rather not put his name here.

So this teacher pulled up a chair and sat right in front of me, and started lecturing talking to me about how important it is for one to have a religion. How people who are non-religious can be likened to being "lost in the light" (He was speaking in Malay, so i'm not quite sure i have his words translated accurately here, or if i totally understood what he's telling me at all. But i'll do my best).

He went on and on about how i must find my God as soon as possible, whatever religion that God belongs to. How he suffered when he was a child, until he was enlightened by the God he came to embrace. How he thinks i will hold on tightly to whatever religion i'll eventually decide to follow. And he advised me that i should read books on the subject of religion, to help me in my quest in search of my God.

As he spoke, i smiled, gave polite responses where appropriate, and chuckled at his jokes. But really, i think i'd do just fine without clinging to a religion of any kind. I didn't tell him that to his face of course, lest he thinks i'm some kind of dangerous minion of Satan sent to corrupt people in his camp and coerce them into converting or something. But i am quite sure i'll be fine following societal moral values without getting terabai.

Post-NS note:
Do i believe in God? Well, as the French mathematician and astronomer Laplace said: "I have no need of that hypothesis."

In some ways, i'm more like the atheist Cameron than the atheist House. In that unlike House, i respect other people's religion (except maybe for Scientology) and vaguely understand that some people just need to believe in a God to make sense of their life, to put a meaning to their existence. Having said that, i still do not comprehend how such unquestionable faith can exist based solely on various editions of the Bible filled with myths and allegories with maybe some historical references.

I haven't been through much hardship in my life, i admit. I used to think that if one day, somehow in one single day, i lose my job, my house, and everyone i ever cared for, i just might step into this world of worshipping a supreme being and be surrounded by "brothers" and "sisters". Now i'm not so sure even if i fall victim to such tragedies, religion will be my answer. But that's all mostly hypothetical. All i can say is, for now, i'm perfectly happy without following any religious paths. And seriously, how can Earth be only 6000 years old?

I can go on and on about my lack of faith and i don't care if i'll be condemned to Hell, whether or not Hell exist. I just felt sad sometimes when i talk to people (like the teacher for instance) who were brought up in a religious family and spent their whole lives practicing a way of living adopted based on their parents delusions. It's etched so deep it's like they don't even have a choice to not believe.

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Day 13.3: Sukan Kreativiti - Wonder Pets Wonder Pets! |

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A few days ago, the teachers hid all three Alpha, Bravo and Charlie's company flag. We're supposed to track our own company's flag down but as far as i know, nobody actually made an effort to find it.

Today, Tuan Komanden warned us that if we still haven't get our respective flags back by 12.00 am tonight, the next day all of us will be required to wear full loreng starting in the morning. Worse, our handphones will not be "released" this weekend. The horror of not being able to reunite with our handphones O.O

Fortunately, all 3 flags were recovered earlier during waktu riadah. The guys spotted them in JLB (JuruLatih Bertugas' office). Yay!

...

Remember a couple of days ago i got all upset and was whining about being left out of the super fun games? Well, i finally got to play sukan kreativiti (creative sports) this afternoon.

First there was "pagar current", where we're supposed to figure out a way to get over some "high voltage electrical wires" (that forms a small topless enclosure) using only the 2 poles that were given to us. Because of my lithe and hence light body, i was the 2nd to climb onto the poles, crawl on it and land in the enclosure. Our objective was to land at the other side, not in the middle by the way. So 3 of us maneuvered our way in to provide support from the center, holding up the poles so that the rest could get to the other side.

My hands and shoulders were on the verge of crumbling under their body weight, so i decided to give my shoulders a break (no pun intended) and shifted the weight to another part of my body and rested the pole on my head, hehe. Felt like an ant holding up a mountain's weight.

Finally Cikgu Kaycee gave the word to change the people who're inside the enclosure. Phew! So i made my way to the other side, climbing on top of the poles and all. It was fun!

I thought we did great. The whole idea was to instill sifat bekerjasama, team-building spirit yada yada... Only about 2 or 3 girls failed to accomplish our objective, some because of their weight (can crush a Boeing 747) and some because of fear. They were terrified of it, or was it because they don't trust us people holding the poles to guide them over safely? Whatever. Anyway i thought we did great cuz SY told me that when they did the activity 2 days ago, only a few got through whereas in our case, only a few didn't get through.

After that we went to the fields to play a game of tangki bocor. Which was even more fun. Even Tuan Komanden joined us in our game as a mischief-maker. Every time he makes his way towards our tangki he cried out "Wonder Pets! Wonder Pets!" and we would scramble around trying to stop him from vandalising our tangki. We also had this thing going on, where whenever someone yells "Apa yang penting?" in a specific tune, the rest of us would in unison go "Kerjasama!" in a similar tune.

Had a great time and got wet all over. Literally soaked from top to bottom, with scraps of mushy newspapers clinging everywhere on me, plus dirt and grass all over my pants.

Post-NS note:
I had absolutely no idea wth Wonder Pets are at that time. Only after months later, i happened to come across a commercial plugging the Wonder Pets cartoon did i realise it wasn't something Tuan Komanden just made up lol.

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Day 13.2: Punk'd! |

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NS is fun i tell you. It's a blast, provided you don't err big when it comes to following instructions. Knowing what buttons not to push, and what rules can be bent is crucial to be able to thrive within the strict reign of the authorities.

Just before our CB class ends at 12.30pm today, Cikgu Yus called out the names of 3 girls and around 8 or 9 guys' name, summoned them to the front of the class, and announced to the class that word just came from JLKN that these are the ones who are going to be sent to East Malaysia as part of a racial integration program. They stood in a long horizontal line in front of everyone, completely stunned by the news.

Of the 3 girls, 2 are from our own dorm, SH and SJ. We stared at our friends. We were as shocked as they are.

Then SH broke down and started sobbing, followed quickly by SJ and this other girl T. Then some of the guys couldn't hold back their tears any longer and cried too.

In the midst of the pool of tears, Cikgu Yus, referring to the official letter in her hand, went on to tell us that they will be shipped out this evening at 5.30pm. What's more, T, a fragile looking little girl was chosen to join Singapore's 2-year military service training. Cikgu Yus gave her a chance to say her last words before she leaves.

By this time, T was shedding tears by the bucket and a number girls from our dorm were also crying their eyes out because we're so going to miss SH.

Alas, it was all just an act on the teacher's part. LOL. The teachers played a practical joke on them, or rather, on all of us. It was a prank! Nobody's leaving and there's no military training! Truth is, those who were supposedly picked to go to East Malaysia are all born in June, and today is T's birthday. The prank was the teacher's way of celebrating their birthdays! This definitely counts as one of those "my most unforgettable birthday" for those June babies, with all the drama and emotions in the room.

Me i was totally fooled initially. The news caught me by surprise but i didn't cry or anything like that. I actually envied them cuz i really longed to go to the NS camps in East Malaysia, as far away from civilisation as possible. Got somewhat suspicious when the 2 year military training in Singapore was mentioned. I was like, no way she's gonna survive that. She doesn't even participate in half of our physical exercises because her frail body couldn't cope with it, anemia or something.

Anyway it was quite entertaining and left us all with a lovely memory of one of the more interesting times in NS. I kinda hope that the July, August and September babies will get such a wonderful birthday celebration too, but its unlikely. The same trick will not work twice, unless the teachers get creative and come up with something totally unexpected.

Post-NS note:
Indeed, we were pranked again later into the NS program. But that's a story for another post ;)

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Day 13.1: Laundry Woes |

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My joint pains aren't getting any better. Damn. It's this constant strain in my knees. Am hoping it'll go away soon.

Earlier this morning, i raised my voice for the 1st time since i've been here, i think.

You see, those who wanna take advantage of the free dobi service (which will only clean our National Service issued clothes, the celorengs and socks and towel etc., strictly no undergarments and clothes we brought from home) have to put their dirty clothes in a white plastic bag, mark the bag with a marker pen so we know who's who's, and then chuck the bag into this big black plastic bag in a basket. I, the Ketua Dorm will then bring the basket full of filthy clothes to this designated area behind the classrooms. A laundry van will come pick it up and return them clean and fresh the next day. That's standard procedure.

So why did i raised my voice at my dear dorm mates? Cuz they can't even complete the simple task of following ABC instructions! How hard could that be? "Put your clothes into the white plastic bag -> label the bag -> put it in the black plastic bag" That's it. 3 simple steps.

But no. Those dim-wits have to chuck their clothes OUTside of the bag plastic bag. So what, they're expecting me to pick them up one by one and put them nicely into the black plastic bag? Uh-uh. Who do they think i am? Their maid? And it's amazing how long the 3-steps could take them to complete. It's like watching a 2 hour movie in slo-mo.

So i tried hitting the fast forward button, by raising my voice a little. Okay, maybe not so little. But its for the best interest of everyone. Them moving slow = me being late to deliver the dirty laundry to the staff = the dobi van gone = the dirty laundry will have to spend the night cocooned in its own sweat and filth until the next day.

I would've understand if it's the 1st couple of days and they're still not used to these procedures and thus moving a bit at the snails' pace. But it's been 2 whole weeks already and they've yet to quicken their pace. All i ask as a dorm leader is for them to complete this 1 simple task and they failed miserably.

What pisses me off most is this girl in my dorm who once commented that i'm "senyap aje" as Ketua Dorm. So i may not like yelling at people, especially my friends, my dorm mates. But then a minute ago when i shouted for a legitimate reason, this same girl scolded me for yelling at them. F*** her.

Post-NS note:
Looking back, i feel so silly for losing my temper over such a small matter. I'm not usually that easy to get to. I guess incompetence really gets on my nerves, like a pin pressing on my balloon.

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Day 12.3: Watched Kem Kampung Baru, Air Tawar Kumpulan 1 Siri 3/2006 video Wednesday, June 25, 2008 |

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The teachers played us a video, sort of like a montage of shaky handheld camera recordings of the 2006's Kumpulan 1 Siri 3 undergoing the various NS activities complete with cheesy background music and the oh-so-familiar Windows Movie Maker transition effects. Started from their 1st day of lapor diri, to their one-day-in-the-"jungle", to their closing ceremony performances...

Not much difference between the 2006 batch's and us 2008 Kumpulan 3 Siri 5, comparing from what we've already been through and the beginning of the video. Different faces different trainees, same cikgus same activities.

It's also rather obvious that the Kumpulan 1 trainees consists mostly of the typical youngsters fresh out from school, some nerds and geeks here and there. You know, those who actually graduated from high school and probably are going to move on to pre-university studies, getting their diplomas or degrees. Unlike us Kumpulan 3 people: lots of high school and even primary school dropouts who have since joined the work force, and quite a number of those who deferred earlier and is now forced to join NS or risk fines. Which explains the comparatively large number of older than 18-year-olds.

Anyway, back to the vid. It made me look forward even more to the outdoor activities, the building huts in the woods and firing M16 rifle. w00t!

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Day 12.2: Kawad is fun! Plus some non-nudity first time experience |

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Nope. Didn't get to play. No water fights for me.

Instead, our schedule was for us to kawad in the afternoon.

Kinda like kawad-ing though. Our kawad teacher was da best! He was a tad too nice: rarely yelled at us unlike the other company's teacher, and was the earliest to let us rest. Then when we requested to go somewhere with shade to kawad, he led us a little bit into the palm oil plantation. A much welcomed change in venue compared to some other company who had to kawad under the scalding hot sun.

I didn't have quite as much kawad practice as i would've liked. I'm still having trouble with stopping. On the other hand, i'm glad that, thanks to our good-natured and possibly the most patient teacher in our camp, we were free of push-up punishments. No need to go down and do 20 even if we made mistakes in the marching lines. Takes a lot of pressure out of the kawad practice.

During waktu riadah, fooled around with a bunch of girls, playing the game where we form a circle while the monkey in the middle tries to catch the ball thrown around. That's about it.

Received compliments on my small figure. Never got this before in my entire life. The girls actually told me they like my small frame, more than a couple of times. (glee)

I'm getting accustomed to the dorm lifestyle. You see, the first few days, i only change my clothes in the shower cubicle. Nowadays i change right in front of my locker. Everyone in the dorm and everyone passing by our dorm'll see me in my bra and panties when i'm changing. And i'm not even embarrassed about it at all anymore. Don't remember whether or not i've written about this before. That's how they noticed my figure btw.

At first i only change in the dorm with a towel wrapped around me. That way nobody can see nothing. Then i felt it was too much of a hassle having to keep the towel from slipping and putting on clothes at the same time. So what the heck, we're all girls in here anyway. It's not like i'm baring it all for everyone to see. I still have my undies on. No nudity involved. People strut around public beaches in micro-bikinis all the time and that's perfectly normal.

Not everyone can handle the in-dorm display of exposed skin though, at least not yet. Most still change while wrapped in towels, and a few change facing the wall in lightning speed to reduce exposure time. And i personally know one girl who always come back from the washroom fully clothed. My locker neighbor is the sole unique case of one who takes her own sweet time to make-up and moisturize her body while still in her undies, walking around half-dressed because its cooler without the extra layer on her. Darn hot weather around here, and stuffy in our dorm too.

Forgive me if i'm making a lot of fuss about this non-nudity stuff. Though not exactly conservative, I didn't come from a boarding school and had absolutely zero experience with living together with a bunch of people. Hence, live boob watching in 3D is a first for me. And its only the 12th day into the NS program. I'm sure there's more to come, hehe.

Post-NS note:
Towards the end of NS, i took in a lot more than just mere boob-watching, hehe *evil grin* You wouldn't BELIEVE what sort of crazy shit that goes on in there. And that's just the girls. After much reluctance on the guy's part, I managed to coax my friend into describing what happened in their dorm of 21 guys, and OMG...

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Day 12.1: No play |

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I really don't mind doing push-ups and getting yelled at all the time in here. Really, truly, honestly don't. But WTF i don't think i'll be getting my chance to play today. We're all dressed in half celoreng right now.

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Day 11.4: Didn't get to play. Boohoohoo Tuesday, June 24, 2008 |

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Goddamn M*F*ers, C*S*ers, whatever -ers. Those running the f*ing NS program under their f*ing system splitted our company into 2, putting half of us in this other company and half into that other company.

Me with the Alphas had to suffer through Cikgu Roslan's excruciatingly mundane lecture on basic first aid techniques. Don't get me wrong. I appreciate all his hard work and effort in preparing for the lecture and presenting it, albeit in the most bland and uninteresting way possible. But honestly, i didn't learn anything beyond basic common sense.

On the other hand, the other half of them in the other company had "creative sports". They got to climb here, climb there and indulged in exciting water fights. Had the fun of their lives.

I was the one who gladly went through all the kawad-ing and dull CB classes just hoping, HOPING for the chance to have fun. The flying fox, monkey bars, obstacle courses shit. Me. Saya M*F*er. I endured all that but for what? For the system to put ME in a classroom while the rest of them whiny babies get to PLAY? F* it. Goddammit. Even Tuan Komanden joined them in their games.

I got all teary-eyed in the shower. Over this. Silly i know, but i couldn't help feeling left out, missing out on all the fun, especially when all i'm looking forward to are the games and shit. That's my sole motivation for God's sake.

Yup. Everyone else got puffy eyes from a sore leg, or when they got detention, or when they're homesick etc. Me, I get all choked up because i don't get to play. Way mature, lady.

Yeah i know my chance to play will probably come soon, maybe even tomorrow (though fat chance the weather will be as perfect as today: absence of the usual blaring hot sun and slightly windy). But still, it definitely won't be as fun without most of my dorm mates. F* it.

Peace out.

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Day 11.3: Of Womanizer Teacher and Maggi! |

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During CB class earlier this morning, i had a chat with Cikgu Chip. From our brief conversation, i found out that he got his degree from Unisel, and is a self-proclaimed womanizer. Gave me his Friendster email addy even. Also his name "Chip" actually came from the word "Chief", a nickname he got from his days in the army/navy? Couldn't remember the details exactly. Communication between us would be much smoother and easier if it was in English. I'm still rather slow at catching the Malay accented Malay spoken language.

While i'm writing this, our group leader is describing how this extremely competitive girl from another company threw a half-eaten apple at her feet when she passed by their dorm. The same girl who gave us wrong instructions to walk instead of jog during this morning's exercise session, when really we're not supposed to walk at all. Kinda like, xiasue-ed us in a way.

Devoured a cup of instant Maggi noodle and some biscuits for lunch today cuz i'm fed up with the food from the canteen, which seriously lacks variety of any kind.

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Day 11.2: Little taste of freedom, sea water & chicken feces |

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Just got back from a wonderful morning jog. Our route brought us a little way out of the camp area this morning. w0Ot!

Dude, this is the 1st time i have been out of the camp since my 1st day here. You cannot imagine how exhilarating this felt to me. I did not even realize how i have been suffocating in that confinement until this teeny tiny little outdoor excursion unexpectedly brought this sudden wave of relief, release, rejuvenating rush of adrenalin which fertilized this gleeful smile on my face that must've looked just plain comical to those unaware of my elated state of mind.

Had a brief view of the sea and passed by some kampung houses. Never in my life have i appreciated the salty smell of sea water and chicken feces more than then.

Didn't complain about the loss of freedom while in camp really. Nonetheless the finding of something that i did not notice mattered that much to me knocked some senses into me. I wasn't that tough and immune to living in a fenced-up environment after all, or this brief jogging trip would've had a way milder impact on me.

Sweated like a pig, with pleasure :) All that running wore me out a little, but i felt great all the same.

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Day 11.1: Our ruined reputation. No idea what caused that though |

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Our company leader was pissed off, correction, is still pissed off over the fact that we, the company's female group's reputation is now totally rotten in and out. None of us was pleased of course.

Seriously, we didn't do anything that would tarnish our group's reputation really. Except for maybe this one girl who love to chat and goof around during barisan. Basically now we're gonna have to work extra hard to build up our image again. To somehow get the teachers to notice us or something.

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Day 10.3: Briefing On Football and KB Idol, and Company Pride Monday, June 23, 2008 |

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Was at padang kawad to listen to some lecture on what to do during emergencies. The teachers also briefed us about this upcoming football match between a team of wiras and a team of teachers. We were also told about a certain Kg Baru Idol ala American Idol. Sounds like fun! Can't wait for the football match!

Our company leader just came in, telling us that Cikgu J complimented another company but said that our company's reputation is gone. WTH?!?!?! What did we do wrong?

Meeting involving the whole dorm going on right now.

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Day 10.2: Malay, Chinese Different Treatment |

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A Chinese girl got sent to the hospital because of severe gastric and was given 3 days of medical leave. A Malay girl twisted her ankle a little and was given one whole week of MC. Talk about being fair between different races.

During waktu riadah earlier in the evening, we did a 'Bleep Test'. I didn't really push myself much. After the test, my leg joints hurt a little, and my legs got a little wobbly. Weak, i know. I'm not proud of it.

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Day 10.1: First Sesi Bersama Tuan Komanden |

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...Malay girls cried during the session. Indian girls too. Our Tuan Komanden gave a moving speech, then played a Teman Sejati song and projecting the lyrics on the screen in front, let us sing along with the music. 







Only the Chinese girls were having fun, made a circle holding hands, clapped, sang, hugged each other, even tried to throw a teacher in the air! The guys did threw KJ Amin in the air ^^ 

And no, the reason we're not crying is not because we're cold-blooded or anything like that. We Chinese girls just thought that, instead of wasting our energy on producing tears and making ourselves feel all sad and blue-ish, we'd rather have fun and make the most out of this session, spend some quality time with each other, friendship bonding stuff.

Tuan Komanden hugged some of the guys. He told us how great he thinks our Kumpulan 3 Siri 5 is, then proceeded to make a call on his mobile phone to a former wira, switching on the speakerphone function, and amplifying the volume of their conversation by putting the phone close to the mic so we can all hear.

After supper, around 11 pm, all our mobile phones were collected.

Then, most of the girls from our dorm (except me and SJ) feasted on the KFC they asked Cikgu D to buy for them.

By the way, we're supposed to be doing our routine morning exercise earlier in the morning, but the sky looked like it's gonna rain anytime soon, so we were sent back to our dorms to tidy our dorms instead.

After breakfast, it finally rained. Everyone climbed into their beds and is now fast asleep. I'm gonna take a quick nap too. Ciao.

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Day 9.4: Back From Sesi Bersama Tuan Komanden Sunday, June 22, 2008 |

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Just came back from our first Sesi Bersama Tuan Komanden ("Sentuhan Rasa"). A lot of Malay...

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Day 9.3: First Real Meal Since Arriving At Camp |

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During lunch just now, everyone was like 饿鬼s (hungry ghosts) lol. Jia Lin* brought back to camp this vegetarian fried mee hoon from the temple. Usually i'd avoid anything vegetarian, i just can't swallow their artificial meat. But boy, this is the most delicious food i've had in this whole week, or rather since i got here. Mary* shared her chicken from her chicken rice her mom bought her. Best food ever!

Seriously, the dewan makan's food here is inedible. I usually eat the least food possible for mere survival. I don't care how many times the teacher said that our camp has the best food amongst the NS camps around here, or how delicious everyone says our morning nasi lemak is. They're absolutely horrible.

*All names have been changed to protect the identity of the people involved.

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Day 9.2: Sunday Morning In-Camp Gotong-Royong |

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Sunday! Finally spoke on the phone with daddy, mummy, and my aunties.

Today's supposed to be rest day, but we (non-Buddhists and non-Christians) have to do gotong-royong in camp, while the Buddhists and Christians get to go to the temple and the church respectively. WTH? They get to go out and have fun while we have to stay back and work? Plus, i'm like, the ONLY Chinese left in camp, being the only free-thinker. Drat.

On another note, quite a number of my dormmates' parents are coming to camp later today.

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Day 9.1: KKJ Presentations, Girl Sent to Hospital & Pissed Over Baju Kurung Issue |

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I just came back from our group's KKJ (Kontrak Kita/Kami Janji) presentation. DUDE. I was presenting on the freaking stage man! I was on stage, just barely an hour ago, in this lovely baju kurung i borrowed from a fellow dormmate. Woot!

Damn. Lights are off already. But i'm still writing, pencil in my right hand, a torchlight in my left. I HAVE to write this down.

Frankly, i didn't really contribute much to the preparation for the KKJ presentation. The parts where i actually gave some of my ideas were eventually scrapped. We (or rather most of our teammates) prepared all these company mottos and strategies on sheets of mahjong papers, some composed a company song, some worked on the company flag, others created our company logo (complete with what each object symbolizes and what the colors used stands for).

When our group leader asked me to present on stage, i didn't protest like everybody else. Cuz, well, i have to contribute something, and i pity her having a hard time convincing people to go on stage. So i agreed to go on stage, without the slightest idea what's written on those mahjong papers. Surprisingly, my legs didn't even shake when i was presenting. I was as calm as ever, not that i said much on stage, just presented 2 pages of information, that's all.

Oh, and that baju kurung i wore? I absolutely love it! Lots of people commented on how good i look in it *embarrassed*

During the presentations, a girl who has gastric was sent to the hospital. This is already the 2nd Chinese girl who got sent to the hospital, and that's within the first week since the activities began. According to WC, the girl has her own gastric medicine, but the medical personnel wouldn't let her take her own medicine. Instead, they forced her to take the medicine prescribed by the medic, which aggravated her condition and in the end, she had to be sent to the hospital. WC was extremely upset about her friend not taken better care of.

Okay, back to the KKJ presentations.

Our company leader was incredibly pissed off after our presentation. Not because we weren't up to her expectations, but because there was this Malay girl from another company whom, during Q&A session, asked why there is a Chinese (meaning me, obviously) wearing baju kurung instead of our own Chinese traditional clothes. Apa salahnya? Everyone in my dorm is pretty pissed off about it actually. What the hell is her problem? Me donning baju kurung shows that i respect their religion, and i'm comfortable wearing their traditional clothing. I wanted to step in front, grab the microphone, and give her that piece of my mind, but our company leader seemed reluctant to hand over the mic in her hands. So, whatever.

Nightz.

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Day 8: Medic's Incompetence Saturday, June 21, 2008 |

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We did KKJ (Kontrak Kita Janji) today. No need to line-up and take strength at 6.30 am, so most of us slept through breakfast ^^

Accompanied a friend to the medic. We had to wait for 20 minutes or so outside of the medic room because the medical personnel on duty is a man and he had to call for a female teacher to be in the room with my friend during diagnosis. So while we wait for him to make the call and for a female teacher to arrive, i watched my friend writhe in agony (She was having a very bad stomach ache). Tick tock tick tock.

No wonder people die in camps.

Medik 24 jam kononnya. What's the use of that when they can't even handle one patient with a certain amount of efficiency in broad daylight?

By the way, this is not the first time. I've accompanied friends to the medic numerous times and every single time we had to wait outside for at least 20~25 minutes until they're looked at. That's "at least".

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Day 7.2: Teachers Made Racist Remarks? Friday, June 20, 2008 |

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I'm now in the small waiting area beside JLB. The newspapers i was planning to read is gone!!! This morning i noticed that they don't even have The Star, only New Straits Times and some Tamil & Malay newspapers. Damn it's hard to get my hands on a copy in here.

CB classes are a bore as usual. I put on this smile on my face whenever i greet the teachers. Manners-mah. Hate myself for being a hypocrite.

WC complained to a teacher about 3 other teachers who made racist remarks. According to her, one of the 3 teachers said something like "You all Chinese keep getting sick, all weak" and the others said something similar. To be honest, i do notice quite a number of Chinese visiting the medic quite often. The teachers were probably pointing out an observation, not criticizing or anything of that sort. WC could be a tad bit sensitive.

Cikgu D came into our dorm and chatted with us for about half-an-hour.

I literally have about 7~8 mosquitoes clinging to my seluar kelas right now.

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Day 7.1: Indians Fighting Amongst Themselves |

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Yay! The Muslims are going for their Friday prayers. Which means the rest of us can rest until 3 pm! Usually activity starts at 2.30 pm, we get an extra half-an-hour today, woot!

There's some conflict between some Indians girls. The tension is so great all of us from the girls' dorm are aware of them fighting. Not physically, more like shouting across the dorms at each other in very very loud Tamil. I have no idea what the issue is, but it sure is a big deal for them. I hope they're not quarelling over trivial matters like toilet paper, or wearing other people's slippers etc. You never know, some 18-year-olds are still pretty immature. "Some" might be an understatement, try "most".

And there i thought it's more common to have conflict between different races. But no. They're fighting amongst themselves now lol.

CB Classes are boring as usual. But at least now started some bertegur sapa between the guys and the girls. 

I find it ridiculous the way they separate the guys and girls. I understand if it's against their religion for intimacy between unmarried man & women, but hell, i'm not a Muslim, why should i abide by their rules? I mean, it's not even like we're going to get intimate or anything, just chat, have a proper conversation on the same table. But no, they have to have this rule where the guys sit on one side of the dewan makan and the girls are only allowed to sit on the other side, to make sure there's no contact between the 2 separate species?

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Day 6.4: First Kelas Rohani, Which I Skipped Thursday, June 19, 2008 |

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I'm now in JLB (Jurulatih Bertugas' office) with 2 teachers. They're watching 鹿顶记 on the little television on top of the shelves. One of the teacher is playing Chinese music on his laptop, and the 2 of them are watching the kung fu show together.

This is fun. I'm in this little room with air-conditioning, music, tv, my diary and my novel. This is a far cry from having to endure all the activities the whole day. I miss air-conditioning so much!!!

Chatted a bit with both teachers. I hope next time i'll have some newspapers to read. I'm feeling a bit cut-off from the outside world, not having a clue what's happening out there.

Oops, i forgotten to mention. It's Kelas Rohani time now. When we were filling in the forms, i put down "free-thinker" (If i was younger, i'd probably put in "Christian" instead since my parents are both Christians), so here i am in JLB, getting to pass going to classes since i'm actually free from any religion. Everyone else are in their respective classes according to their religion, listening to ceramah or something like that. As far as i know, there are only 3 trainees (including me) who are free-thinkers. The other 2 are not really free-thinkers. They're orang aslis (natives) who have their own set of religion, different from Islam, Christianity, Buddhism.

On another note, i bought nasi lemak from the mak cik down the road near the camp gate. She strike me as a very nice and friendly person, offering to help me buy anything i want that she's not selling at the moment. This is my first time buying from her. She comes every night to sell food, drinks, toiletries, stationery etc. According to everyone else, her nasi lemak's supposed to be very delicious.

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Day 6.3: Lovely Dormmates |

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Got a little too emotional this afternoon. Things always get tough sometimes. Nothing i couldn't handle.

My dormmates are great. There's this one girl who complimented about my figure more than once and told me she thinks i'm pretty (yipee ya ya yipee yipee ya). Damn i'm superficial.

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Day 6.2: $@%#ing Hate It In Here!!! |

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I would very much like to write that i'm having a wonderful time in camp, feeling happy and all, but then i would be lying.

Well, i'm getting along quite well with my new friends here, it's fun hanging out with them despite the communication gap. And unlike quite a number of my friends who couldn't stand the kawad sessions, i kinda developed a liking towards it, though of course, i would've preferred kawad-ing in a mosquitoes-free environment. Seriously, they attack you like tiny swarm of bees, especially during the early morning 6.30 am line-up. What's worse, we're not supposed to move a muscle when we're dalam barisan, so it's breakfast buffet for them mosquitoes while we suffer through the unbearable itchiness.

I know i know, it's not good to complain. But i'm gonna do it anyway, in writing. It's just not healthy to keep everything pent up inside.

Complain No. 1, i am so not used to the hectic timetable (Which, by the way, we're not even given. I mean, we wouldn't know what's been planned for us or what we're supposed to be doing next until say, when we actually start doing it. I don't like not knowing whatever's going to come next. Is this fear of not being in control? I dunno *sigh*). So, the hectic timetable. Right. 

Truth is, i've been constipated for 3 days. Cuz everytime i feel like going, the timing wouldn't be right. Heck, i wouldn't wanna be halfway through doing my business when announcement goes off summoning us to gather in padang kawad in 10, or worse, 5 minutes. So i'll have to pick times where i'm sure i'll have at least like, 15 minutes of free time. Thing is, when i do have the time, i'd rather be writing, or reading, than squatting over the toilet staring at profanity written with marker pen all over the plastic door. Hence, the constipation problem.

Complain No. 2 (Oh, we're only at 2? I feel like i've been rambling for so long already), i feel so goddamn filthy. I've been taking showers under mental pressure, pressure to shower quickly so as to not let my friends wait for me (Yes, we shower together in separate cubicles), or getting left behind. Reducing the number of times going in the shower is not an option, cuz i sweat like hell ALL DAY LONG, even at night. It's a freaking sauna 24/7 here. Perhaps because we're situated right beside the sea? So basically i rush through each shower sessions, mandi kerbau, as the Malay simpulan bahasa goes. Damn.

One last thing. 20% of the time i couldn't get the joke they make in Malay. I feel for some of the Chinese guys who cannot understand slightly-intermediate-level-Malay. During CB classes, they haven't the slightest idea what the teachers want them to do. I noticed the boring expression on their faces, which i totally understand. I myself am doing my best to stay awake during CB classes. Feel damn sleepy even though i went to bed on time and slept like a log the instant i hit the pillow.

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Day 6.1: Teacher Flirting in Camp |

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Woke up before 5.30 am so that i can take my own sweet time brushing my teeth, cleansing my face and getting dressed. My runny nose is gone (Yay!) but still got some sore throat.

I wanted to write about a particular teacher's behaviour yesterday but well, beauty sleep comes first. So here goes.

While we were dalam barisan (in line?) yesterday night, there's this female Malay teacher who flirted with a male Malay teacher in front of us, saying "Cium ku, cium ku!"("Kiss me, kiss me!") to him. WTH?!?!?!

I wasn't the only one who heard that. Later in the night, back in our dorm, the girls were talking about how miang the teacher is. Talk about inappropriate behaviour.

Conservative Malays? No?

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Day 5.2: First Time in Full Celoreng and Kelas CB Wednesday, June 18, 2008 |

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This is what i call real training.

This afternoon, without any warning beforehand, we were suddenly asked to line up in full celoreng (full uniform, the striped one ala army uniforms) in 15 minutes. It was a total chaos.

Some were debating amongst each other whether to wear the inner celoreng, some were having trouble putting on their spike boots, some didn't know how to buckle their huge-ass belt, some were clueless on how to wear the beret...

TOTAL CHAOS.

~Kinda reminds me of scenes from movies depicting life in military camp, where the soldiers are in their bunks each doing their own stuff when the whistle goes off and everyone scrambles to put on their gears and stuff in like, 30 seconds.~
 
We were summoned to padang kawad for more kawad lessons in full celoreng. Wasn't too bad. I enjoyed it, actually.

Later in the morning, we sat through our first character building class in Dewan Rahah. Kelas CB, as they call it. I keep thinking it's Kelas Chi Bai lol.

It was quite boring imho. I don't quite get the point of having these classes. It felt much like attending kindergarden classes. Even the book each of us was given looks like some primary school kid's workbook. 

First we were split up and put into smaller groups. Then begins the childish activities. Lining up according to names in alphabetical order, according to surnames in alphabetical order, writing down rules for football in a given time, then badminton... Then there's this game called Bongo-bongo where you go around asking for other people's name and have them write down their name on a piece of paper. Hell, isn't there any ice-breaking activities that cater for 18 and above?

Heavy rain poured while we were in class (There goes all my clothes i left hanging at the clothesline to dry) and we were sent to lunch at 12.30pm.

The girls have been visiting the medic like it's their second home. I see them walking to and fro to the medic all the time. Am i that healthy compared to the others?

Shit. I think i'm getting sick. Sore throat and runny nose. Shit. Shit. Shit. I don't wanna miss out on all the fun. 

Ziana is telling the girls a story. Adiós!

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Day 5.1: Dumb Boyfriend, Luckily Not Mine |

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Aishah is alright-lah. I was thinking too much.

Didn't have time to write anything yesterday night cuz i accompanied Jia Lin to make phone calls using the public phone. She needs to get her family to mail her her I.C. (How could she forget to bring her I.C.?!?!? She said she was in a hurry when leaving the house. Whatever) and bank book (She got hers done but forgotten to bring to camp. Me i didn't realise i have to have one Agrobank account until the day before, which was too late. So i'm having mine done in camp instead).

The idea was to have her mum pass her bank book to her boyfriend so that her boyfriend can go to the post office and mail it through PosLaju (Her family dunno how to send through PosLaju). I was right beside Jia Lin listening to her end of the conversation. Trust me, it was NOT EASY for her to get her message across.

I don't know whether it's because of communication problems which made it hard for them to understand each other, or one of them is just plain dumb. Sorry, that came out kinda harsh. But any other word would've sounded even worse.

I mean, what kind of boyfriend can be so dense that she has to explain over and over again that fax copies of her I.C. is not accepted? On top of that, he is so incompetent that he couldn't mail the documents through PosLaju because HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO. For chrissake even i can do it despite not having mailed anything using the PosLaju service before, and i'm not particularly bright for that matter.

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Day 4: A Tour of Our Camp Tuesday, June 17, 2008 |

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Had to cut short yesterday's entry cuz the teachers had us off the dorm lights, even though it's not even 11.30 pm yet.

This morning, after a quick shower (By the way, a few of us are using this 3rd toilet without permission. The other 2 were occupied and so we switched on the lights at the 3rd toilet and have been using it ever since. It's a tad bit cleaner than the other 2 and since only a couple of us are using it, we have a lil' bit more privacy here.), a teacher gave us a tour of the camp. Showed us the staff room, and De Air Resort (Shabby looking, all ruined cuz no one bothered to take care of it), and where we would be doing kayaking in the future.

This girl Aishah got chosen as our group leader. She seems kinda bossy to me. I hope i'll come to like her in time.

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Day 3.2: Unfair Treatment by a Teacher Monday, June 16, 2008 |

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The guys are so damn annoying. 

So 4 of us girls found this shady, breezy, and kinda quiet spot with a nice view of the shrimp ponds (i think) beyond the fences keeping us in. There are some benches, so we sat there chatting, enjoying the moment, me with my book.

And the guys had to come over and "make friends"with us.

The worst part was, WE were the ones who got told off by a teacher.

Erm, so, we were minding our own business, the guys approached us and tried to start some conversation, and WE got warned? Not the guys but US? WTF?!?!?

"Fortunately i spotted you all over there. If it's one of the lady teachers who saw you girls there, they won't let you off so easily. We're very strict about these matters over here in the camp," said the cikgu, "Jaga sikit jarak antara wira dengan wirawati."

Come on. That's the only place we found that's the least f***king hot and WE got told off because THEY came kepo-ing? WTF?!?!?!

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Day 3.1: Feeding Mosquitoes |

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Woke up at 5.50 am even though morning call was at 5.30 am. Took a quick shower (I gave in. There's this one teacher who kept poking fun at us who doesn't shower in the morning and just yesterday, in front of all the girls, pointed me out specifically and said to me, "must shower in the morning". Humiliating, yeah.), then off to dataran kawad to feed the mosquitoes. Shanti* got dizzy and lightheaded and was sent to the medic.

We learned the basics of kawading, then a little bit of taklimat by a very pleasant teacher. By 7.30 am, we're having breakfast already. Nasi lemak this morning, quite delicious, considering we've been eating trash the past few days.

Now back in dorm with Shanti, cuz Jia Lin* and Kai Chi* are off to the medic (Jia Lin having stomach cramps). Really, they're quite a bunch of sick people. No offense, but we're only in our what, 3rd day here, and already they're visiting the medic?

*All names have been changed to protect the identity of the people involved.

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Day 2.3: 2nd Night Sunday, June 15, 2008 |

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We were split into different dorms. Only 6 out of 14 of us originally from Selangor remain in Dorm 9. 

Finally spoke to the Chinese girls.

I need supplies: Brush for brushing clothes, body lotion, face moisturizer.

I find washing my own clothes very tiring. I lack the strength to squeeze and twist. I admit, mum and the washing machine does all the work back home. I'm just another spoilt little child *sad*

Oops, lights off.

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Day 2.2: More Trainees' Arrivals |

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3 more buses arrived. We Selangorians helped with their bags. I noticed there are A LOT of Chinese guys, most of them pai kia looking, or maybe it's me that's biased.

The guys kept making these mouse squeaks whenever girls pass by. What exactly are they hoping for? Coming from a more cultured background, this is not a scene i'm used to or even feel comfortable in.

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Day 2.1: First Morning in Camp |

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Everyone, well, almost everyone showers in the morning. How do they do that? The water is so freaking cold!!! I think i'll pass for now. Just a change of clothes would do for me.

Speaking of clothes, i gotta go check and see whether the clothes i hung outside yesterday got any drier from yesterday night's moonshine.

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Day 1.4: First Night in Camp Saturday, June 14, 2008 |

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Just came back to dorm from a welcoming speech session. The teachers welcomed us, told us some of the basic camp rules, like when in the dewan makan, girls are only allowed to sit on this side and guys on the other side, what we're allowed to wear (tutup aurat clothes), what not to wear (baju adiks).

I'm having a hard time getting their jokes.

Back in dorm, the crazy girls are trying on their new shirts and pants, having a great time talking about armpit hair and stuff down below.

My white bed sheet is already stained with mosquito corpses. You can't imagine how many mosquitoes there are here. They attack in swarms. More of them are attacking me as i write. Curse the paya bakaus, if that's what's attracting the mosquitoes.

There're 13 girls in our dorm now. All of us are from Selangor. We're the 1st to arrive. Tomorrow, we're supposed to move to our respective dorms, and also help with the 6 buses of newcomers' luggage.

Lights off.

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Day 1.3: Arrival at NS Camp |

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Our bus arrived at Kg Baru NS Camp a little before 4pm. Went through the whole registration process in these classroom looking buildings. Basically filling in forms, getting our uniforms, boots, sport shoes, towels, kiwis, socks and stuff like that which are provided by the camp.

Wasn't exactly enjoying hauling the bags i brought from home + this enormous plastic bag holding the stuff supplied by the camp.

The trainers are quite friendly though, throughout the whole registration process... Asking for my name, asking me how i'm liking it so far, showing me where i should go and what to do next. The pessimist in me fears that this ain't gonna last. Cuz this is just the beginning. As soon as the activities start, they'd probably become all strict to discipline us T.T

Then, we had lunch (Yes, they called it lunch) at 4 something. At 5 something, we were again summoned to the canteen for tea time (bread and tea).

Took a quick shower in the toilet. Disgusting place. Looked like it hasn't been cleaned in years. The walls full of molds, the cubicles teeny-tiny... Only 3 showers were working. The Malays bathed using the kolam. I would never ever shower there. Not even when the cubicles are so tiny i have to take extra care folding my arms in awkward positions so that my towel doesn't rub against the mouldy walls.

Till now, i know 3 girls by name only. The Malay girls are kawayzy, laughing at almost anything, joking around, pulling each other's legs. Kawayzy!!!

I'm having problems communicating with them Malays. Haven't been speaking Malay since SPM years ago.

K, going back to reading my book.

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Day 1.2: On the Way |

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The bus just stopped at a petrol station in Ijok.

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Day 1.1: Departure |

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Just left Shah Alam Stadium. Now on the bus.

I have been at the stadium since 0800. Suffered through 3 whole hours of waiting for departure. Yeah, just sitting there warming hard cold cement with my butt. I'm the earliest to melaporkan diri (How do i say that in English? Report for duty?) for my Kg Baharu Camp.

I think i got the coolest trainers. One wearing wraparound dark sunglasses and sporting spiky hair, the other one seem more like the "kind grandfather" type. (They are, i later learned, Cikgu Khai and Cikgu Rosli)

I'm sitting beside a girl whom i think is the craziest girl in the bus. And an Indian girl asked me whether i'm Chinese or Malay, cuz i'm sitting at the last row with a whole bunch of Malays.

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Packing for NS Wednesday, June 11, 2008 |

2 more days till i have to leave for National Service...

Was just at Tesco to pick up some stuff.

  • Long track pants
  • Foldable hangers (which they don't have)
  • Hair shampoo, hair conditioner, body shampoo, toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant
  • Plaster
  • Soap powder

And packing some other stuff i already have.

  • T-shirts ( My friend told me the t-shirts have to be long, as in when you sit down, it must not show any part of your back, and it must be loose fitting. Like i care.)
  • Undies
  • Pants
  • Socks
  • Jacket
  • Blanket
  • Bedsheet
  • Packets of teas, leong cha, mocha
  • Plastic bags
  • Slippers, sport shoes
  • Marker pen, stationery
  • Pads (tampons did not work out for me)
  • Bucket
  • BOOKS

(List to be updated)

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Of personal safety in NS, and sanitary pads Thursday, June 5, 2008 |

My aunty asked my mum yesterday whether she's going to be worrying about me when i leave for NS. Mum was all "Of course, so many people die in NS. Summore got food poisoning in some places..."

As someone who's leaving for the Kg Baharu Camp in less than 2 weeks, i'd say i'll be fine, cuz statistically, the chances of survival is quite high.

I mean, i'm pretty sure it wasn't just the food poisoning, lost in the jungle, rape cases etc. that got published in the news that's worrying. Some incidents might be hush-hushed or receive less media attention (although i doubt anything concerning NS would escape the critisicm of some people out there).

But i'll live.

A friend who came back from NS told me this ridiculous rule she and her teammates had to follow: wash their sanitary pads after before they throw them away. I get it that it's the Muslim women's custom to do so, i respect their religion and all, but forcing it on other people as well is just unacceptable, imho. They were actually warned that should any of them did not do so, and got caught (my friend told me they actually conduct checks before you throw your sanitary pads), the punishment is as follows: They'll put your used pad in a bucket of water, then splash that filthy water on you.

How f***ed up is that?

Since i wasn't there myself, i have no idea if it's just to scare the kids or for real. But my friend is quite convinced that they really are going to conduct that kind of punishments.

Oh, one more thing.

On the issue of safety. A couple of guys i know who went to NS came back having learned this "game" from their NS friends, where you press some sort of pressure point on your buddy, and kind of stop blood flow to the brain. I saw them playing one day after class. One of them nearly collapsed.

Fun, eh?

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Got my NS letter, and Books In My Phone! Tuesday, June 3, 2008 |

So the official letter came last week, finally.

Less than 2 weeks until i have to leave for Ayer Tawar ^^

Too bad we're not allowed to use our handphones on weekdays. I had mine filled with books from BooksInMyPhone. I'd rather read an actual book, but sometimes when i get somewhat absent-minded, this would come in real handy. Not to mention all the books there are FREE!!!

I finished Cory Doctorow's Little Brother in less than a day, which i downloaded f.o.c from here. I love it so much i'm gonna download all the other Doctorow's books once i finish writing this post.

I used to download txt files from Project Gutenberg, but my SE phone sucks at loading txt files. It takes some time to load (which i totally don't get since they're just plain text files, not rtf or html or anything like that), and i couldn't pause, get out, and come back into reading where i had left off. BooksInMyPhone runs on Java and "remembers" where you left off, though i kinda hope they had a bookmark function too. But what the heck, they're the only good one i can find for the time being, so i'll just have to stick to it.

Less than 2 weeks, and mum seems more anxious about it than me. Buying toiletries, reminding me to bring this bring that, borrowing a larger luggage bag from an aunt because mine's too small... *sigh*

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